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I like your idea of strong and soft. But how do I get there?
My goodness, you’ve certainly managed to go to the bottom line without wasting any time!
Okay. I think we need to look at this from three different sides. First, we need to understand what strong and soft are NOT. Second, we need to look a little more closely at what they ARE. Only then can we begin to answer your question of what one does to get there (or more realistically, to get closer to there).
Let’s start with a story. I’ve seen this, and I’ll bet you have as well. Put-together Christian guy meets put-together Christian girl. By put-together, I mean they’re smart, attractive, committed to Jesus, and at least have a pretty good idea about what they want in life.
They become good friends. They enjoy doing things together and talking about their thoughts, and they even challenge each other to grow in Christ. Everyone around them starts smiling, because this looks like the Real Thing.
But one day everything falls apart. Either the guy suddenly finds another girl, or the girl suddenly finds another guy. They start getting super-serious. Sometimes they even get married.
This turn of events is really a mystery, not only to the left-behind person, but also to his or her friends. You see, the new love interest isn’t anywhere near as put-together as the original one. But what this new person does have is what I’ll call counterfeit masculinity or femininity. They seem to be strong or soft.
If it’s a guy, his counterfeit strength usually takes the shape of aggressiveness. He likes making decisions, he likes making things happen, he may like being the center of attention. People around them are amazed that this sweet Christian girl will put up with such a bossy, self-centered individual.
If it’s a girl, her counterfeit softness often shows itself in helplessness or neediness. The “clueless blonde” is (as you know) surprisingly attractive to men.
These counterfeit forms of sexual attraction are a strong argument for the need we each have to join ourselves to a truly masculine or feminine partner. While we might convince ourselves that we’re rationally able to choose someone based on their intelligence or social skills or even Christian commitment, something in us often overrides our minds and draws us elsewhere.
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