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Question #15 | Print |

Isn't there more to being equally yoked than just both being Christians?  Doesn't a successful marriage require other kinds of compatibility, including a shared vision and calling?  Also, is it possible to be too cautious (or not cautious enough) when selecting a mate?


It seems sometimes that our entire culture, both secular and Christian, is obsessed with figuring out what goes into a "perfect match."  We have books and specialists and charts and computer programs that carefully spell out the ingredients for lasting love, based on statistics or polls or someone's experience or opinions or who knows what.

Most of these look for places where prospective marriage partners are alike: interests, family backgrounds, education, goals, lifestyles, and so forth.  The assumption is that disagreements are the source of conflicts; remove the disagreements and voila, the conflicts disappear!  

I sometimes wonder why nobody notices this hasn't exactly worked.

Part of the problem is that human beings are complex, and don't fit easily into a formula...no matter how cleverly that formula is constructed.  Part of the problem is the personal junk even the nicest of us drags into marriage.  A lot of the problem is the mountain of too-high expectations we've accumulated over the years.  

And, as you know, much of the destructiveness that erodes marriage is directly related to our refusal to be masculine men and feminine women.

As I said earlier (in Question 2), scripture gives us two primary guidelines for marriage partners: they must be of the opposite sex, and both should be believers.  When these are in place, I believe everything else can be worked out.  

Despite the confusion nowadays, I'm going to assume you still know what I mean by "opposite sex."  That leaves the matter of being equally "yoked" with a believer, which is the question you're asking here.

The unequally yoked verses are found in II Corinthians 6:14-16.
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.  For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?  And what communion has light with darkness?  And what accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?  For you are the temple of the living God.  As God has said: 'I will dwell in them and walk among them.  I will be their God, and they shall be My people.'



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