Dear Young Single Christian ...
 
 
Home

New visitors
please read this...




Latest Question
Question #16 | Print |

Before I became a Christian a few years ago, the things I saw and read in movies, romance novels, and pornography gave me a very negative view of sex.  I want to have a husband and children some day, but the thought of physical intimacy is repulsive to me.  What do I do?


Many of us are not quite sure why God decided to put Song of Solomon into His Bible.  Some people see it as a beautiful story of the love between two people.  Others see it as a picture of God's love for us.  Still others point to it as God's way of saying sex is holy and good.  (A few dear souls really wish He'd left it out altogether.)

Whatever God's motivation was, there's a line that is repeated enough times to make me believe He had at least one consistent message to communicate:  "Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases" (Song of Solomon 3:5).  In this phrase, "love" is not a person, but the phenomenon of love itself.  "Until it pleases" doesn't mean any old time it wants to be stirred.  A better translation might be "until the time of its delight."

Sexual love is designed by God to be an experience of profound pleasure and joy.  But the timing of that love is very, very important.  Waking it or stirring it up ahead of schedule (in other words, before marriage) is wrong and damaging.

So, of course, our Enemy does exactly the opposite of what God says is right.  When you first began to look at "love" in books and movies, those descriptions and pictures started stirring up feelings in you that weren't supposed to be awake yet.  There may even have been something down in your conscience that warned you, at least the first few times.  But with the world screaming in your ears, "It's okay!"...and the lure of love beckoning you onward...well, it didn't take long for God's quiet voice to fade into the distance.

What happened then was that the pull of love (or more accurately, sexual desire) started you on a slippery downward slope into the Enemy's mud hole.  Since our Enemy wants nothing to do with the good and holy aspects of sexual love, what you eventually reach is a murky mess of sexual distortions and perversions.  

For many folks, this results in bondage to lust, an insatiable craving for more and more intense sexual experiences (none of which satisfy for long).  For others like yourself, it produces a paralyzing aversion to sexuality.  The Enemy doesn't really care which way you go, since both reactions destroy the beauty and purity of God's design for married love.

So here you are, covered with mud, but something in your spirit is now longing for that purity you walked away from.  If the mud were only on the outside, maybe you could wash it off.  Trouble is, this kind of mud works its way into our inner beings, into our minds and dreams and fears and responses.  Some very ugly things have been imprinted in your memory, and they keep you from seeing yourself, or your potential husband, with the kind of innocence godly love requires.



Copyright 2000 - 2005 Miro International Pty Ltd. All rights reserved.
Mambo is Free Software released under the GNU/GPL License.