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Page 1 of 6 What is the scriptural basis for the idea that God wants men to pursue women? I don’t really understand why a girl can’t ask out a guy, if she is very modest about it.
You know, it seems like such a simple thing. A girl watches a guy for a while, decides she’d like to know him better, and after much thought (and even prayer?) approaches him respectfully and suggests they get together for coffee sometime. No big deal, she tells herself. I just want to be his friend.
He says sure, why not. So they meet for coffee, or perhaps for lunch. Lightning doesn’t strike them dead. They have a good time, find out they have some things in common, and a new friendship appears to be born. Now what?
Well, since I’m making up this story, I guess I can take it any direction I like. Maybe next time he asks her out. Maybe when they see each other in class or at work, they send each other a special smile. Maybe, months down the road, he thanks her for taking that first step toward what has now become a serious relationship.
Or, maybe she waits and he never calls. Maybe when their paths cross he doesn’t seem to remember their “date.” Maybe he even starts avoiding her.
Lots of maybes. I’ll bet all of them have come true in someone’s life. But in our whatever-works-best culture, we sometimes forget that how it turns out isn’t really the point at all. The point is always--as you said--what does God want?
Even though our story is imaginary, real stories usually follow a predictable pattern. A girl realizes God is not in a hurry to draw a certain young man’s attention to her, so she decides to take matters into her own hands. Maybe she senses another female on the prowl, giving her an added sense of urgency. Or perhaps she knows this guy is a little shy and doesn’t usually take risks. And after all, it’s just lunch or coffee…it’s not like she’s proposing or something.
Meanwhile the guy, who may be very used to females making decisions for him, doesn’t notice anything strange about the suggestion. Even though he has no previous interest in this young woman, what harm does it do to share an hour over lunch or coffee?
If you’ve read my earlier discussions, you can already see some of the problems with this set-up. She’s the initiator. She’s the protector (making it easy on him). She might even be paying for their coffee! He’s not only letting her lead, he’s also not thinking about the fact that this “innocent” little meeting is still a part of courtship, the first step toward possible marriage. For him, it’s just a pleasant time with a girl (and maybe a free meal).
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